The Ultimate Secret to Raising Confident Daughters
June 25, 2021/
One thing I love about being a mom is that sweet smile on my daughter’s face after putting a new dress on her and shuffling her to see her reflection in the mirror. She puffs out her little chest as she sways back and forth with the most satisfied look on her face.
I think one thing we can all agree about is how great it feels to see our children’s confidence shine through, right?
I never found it difficult to instill confidence in her. She is naturally a very self-assured kid, and it is one of the things I admire about her most. However, there came a day where I saw a shift. She was playing with a friend at school. When I arrived to pick her up, she and her friend were in the middle of discussing the length of their hair. I observed as my daughter eagerly awaited the approval of her new friend on her hair length.
As silly as it may sound, I found myself extremely taken aback. To see my daughter seek the approval of friends was foreign territory for us. But it was also a teachable moment.
Inevitably, our babies grow into young adults. There is a duty as parents to build them up to become the best, happiest, and most confident versions of themselves. The effects of social media and the societal pressure on teens are a huge factor in their self-image more than ever today.
Although they will inevitably face encounters like these, I keep a few of my favorite practices to foster a positive self-image and keep her confidence intact.
Here are THREE ways to help your child become their most confident self:
1. Help them commit to memory three positive affirmations.
Create three positive descriptive words that will define them. These words could be as simple as brave, smart, and kind. When they have slip-ups in behavior, instead of auto defaulting to reprimands, remind them of their three affirmations. Keep in mind that it does not have to be long-winded descriptors – just memorable! This practice becomes especially important as they grow older. They will begin building a solid foundation on who they identify as and what they believe about themselves. Our words, how we describe our children, whether they are present or not, are so powerful. Lifting them up goes so far, and it only takes a few positive words!
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2. Encourage independence
Fostering independence is a life-changing way to help our children feel more confident. This helps them feel trusted with decisions no matter how big or small. Giving them the power to use their voice and express their opinions is a sure way to help improve their confidence. Depending on the age, the level of independence will vary. But be sure to encourage them to have a say in their life.
As busy as life gets, I have learned that is so important to give your child an ample amount of quality time. Not only is it an opportunity to bond and talk, but you can discuss any issues going on in their life during your special time. One-on-one time reminds them that they are a priority and makes them feel special. Being heard and feeling like your thoughts and opinions are valuable is a sure way to feel confident no matter what age.
While we cannot control the peer pressure placed on our children from others, we can combat it by building up their self-confidence. To build up their confidence, simply root their identity in three positive descriptors, encourage independence, and carve out that much-needed one on one time! How do YOU encourage confidence? Us mamas must lift one another up and share our secrets to raising happy kids!
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