My Secret to Thriving After a Break-up

If you’re here reading this, I assume you must be going through a tough break-up. Let me be the first to say that you will come out on the other side of this better than before. How can I be so sure you ask? Because I’ve experienced heartbreak, and I truly believe that it was the most pivotal moment in my young adult life.

Roughly four years ago, I found myself a single mama to a five-week-old baby girl when we decided that we would no longer stay in a relationship. For most, this would be devastating, and at the time I struggled a lot. But, somewhere deep inside my soul, I knew that I would use this as an opportunity to become a stronger, more confident version of myself. Since that fateful day, I’ve taken great strides professionally and personally, and I am happily engaged to a loving man.

A happy ending to your breakup does not always mean a relationship. Sometimes, it’s the satisfaction that you are a better person and you learn in the end. When you are facing heartache, there are only two options: thrive or just survive.

When you are facing heartache, there are only two options: thrive or just survive.

Maybe you’re not a newly single mother. Maybe you’re an amazing woman who had an amazing partner that just decided to go their separate ways, or you are just simply going through a rough, unexpected breakup. Whatever the case, I am certain that you are a determined woman full of strength if you’ve decided to read this article. With that being said, here are a few tips on how I was able to thrive after my break-up:

1. Find happiness in spending time alone.

You cannot break the heart of a woman who only needs companionship for the sake of her entertainment. This does not mean be a cold-hearted loner. This just means that at one point in your life you were a single human that took walks through the city just because, or you found joy in cuddling up on the couch on a Friday night to watch a movie. The best way to jump into it is to treat yourself to an amazing dinner alone or treat yourself to a spa day. When you’re not all consumed in being one half of a whole, you give yourself time to brainstorm ways to be a better YOU.

2. Forgive then forget.

This is a little spin to a common phrase because I don’t think you can forgive and forget simultaneously. Allow yourself to feel pain, anger, and even sadness. Somewhere in between those passionate emotions, you will remember happy times. When you get to that point of peace and forgiveness, rid yourself of anything that reminds you of them. Nothing is worse than an angry ex-girlfriend, and that is NOT you. You are a cool, calm, and collected independent woman that only has room to welcome love and peace. Future you with thank yourself for being so brave to take this step.

3. Find a new passion.

As cliché, as this one is, I want to clarify that this is not just picking up a bunch of new hobbies to stay busy and suppress emotions. This is your opportunity to hone down on one thing that makes you feel amazing and new. All the love, energy, and effort you put into a relationship can be transformed into passion toward a new career path, a business venture, photography, or a healthier lifestyle. Use this challenging moment in time for the ultimate lifestyle change.

4. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Sometimes relationships are like that cozy throw blanket that is a little run down and maybe has a hole or two. Although it’s been damaged, you hold onto it because it brings you comfort. What if I told you that you deserve a NEW blanket? If you let go and experience a little discomfort for a short period, you will eventually find a new partner and they could be everything you’ve ever dreamt of. And let’s clarify that your happy ending may not be a new relationship. It could be a new group of friends or creating closer bonds with old ones. It could be a new start in life. Do not let the fear of experiencing discomfort stunt your growth.

5. Be gracious with yourself.

There are going to be days where you are thriving and on top of the world. However, there will be a slew of days you want to cry. When that happens, cry. You will have days of extreme sadness, and this is my gentle reminder to you that you are not alone. So many amazing women go through break ups whether it be their decision, their partners, or a mutual choice. Be kind to yourself and remember that if you have one bad day, it does not equate to it being a bad life. Find comfort in knowing that you will get through this, and you will be so proud of the woman you become!

Breakups and divorces are never easy. BUT, it is easy to create a roadmap to help guide you through, and you may even find yourself a happier, more productive version of yourself. The more you find healthy ways to cope, the easier the breakup will be. You are beautiful, full of love, and before you know it, you will be thriving!

If you would like to see more positivity and encouragement, click here to stay in the loop!